I say this a lot, and apparently I write this a lot too. Therapy is not a one size fits all technique. It is not a magic wand that resolves all of the challenges that you are facing. Therapy is a process… and a unique one at that. There are many different therapeutic modalities and interventions out there. There is no “perfect approach” or technique that can be guaranteed to “fix” everything. Also…please know…you are not “broken” and do not require to be “fixed”. That is sometimes a common thought.
Keeping this is mind, therapy needs to be customized to meet your needs. Therapy has to meet you where you are at and work at your pace. Therapy requires open and honest communication on what is and is not working, so that your clinician can adjust their approach. Gabor Mate, an physician and expert in trauma believes that the problem lies with the therapist, not the client. It is the therapist that needs to adapt to meet their client’s needs, or to be able to refer out to someone that can. Therapy takes time. Therapy takes patience. Be kind to yourself through the process.
Also, sometimes the therapist just may not be a good fit. It happens. It is not personal (unless it is!) . Finding the right fit therapist is definitely important in the effectiveness of therapy. You may find it difficult to open up and trust someone that you are not “vibing” with. Its ok to not feel that connection with every therapist. Sometimes you have to shop around. It is ok. It is ok to tell your therapist this too – they may have a perfect person to refer you to, or your therapist may be able to learn from any feedback you shared.
I see clients that come in, that appear to be very nervous and a little fearful. I can relate to that feeling. Some are afraid that I will tell them “something is wrong with them” or that they “cannot be fixed”. This is not the case. It is not within a psychotherapist’s scope of practice to diagnose. Sometimes, it just might not be the right time for therapy. That is okay. Also, lets talk about how you perceive yourself. Deep breath guys, when you come in, this is your safe space, and know that you cannot fail therapy.
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